Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Happy Sexy 2011

Before we delve into it... sidenote-- can you believe it’s friggin’ 2011?? I mean, that just sounds so future-y. Granted, I was...uh... only just born in 1993 (it’s the truth), but still it seems like 2011 was supposed to be some distant, science-fiction dystopian future, where we had flying cars, were unknowingly fed the reprocessed bodies of our dead, and the entirety of Earth’s population is dressed in identical metallic/reflective jump-suits. That, or the zombie-epidemic forces the surviving 1% of Earth’s population to band together into small, spread-out pockets in a vain hope of restarting civilization whilst traversing ruined cities, fending off marauding biker gangs and the undead..... all the while morale slowly drains amongst them which then quickly spirals into the group turning on themselves....

....but instead, in 2011, we just have these:

.... I guess they’ll hold me over until we invent warp-drives.... just so long as you don’t wear your Bluetooth headset anywhere else besides INSIDE your car. Seriously people... don’t be “that guy”. You’re not cool. Wearing one in public will not make girls turn, swoon, then fall on their knees and blow you right in front of Cinnabon. Motto for 2011: Keep It In the Car.

But I digress.

So once again,
HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you all spent it like we did (below). Note, I did not mean to infer that is actually us. That’s my sister Tina... “the crazy one”. Pictured is her “midnight kiss”. She had just met that guy, like 10 seconds before midnight. She’s very forward, I know... but that’s why we call her “Crazy Tina”.

...Ok, that’s not Tina. I don’t even have a sister named Tina. But whoever that is, that’s one great way to ring in the new year.

So, where have we been and
what the hell happened?....

Well, darlings,
life happened, as it has been ever since I was born (back in 1993). And turns out “living” actually means having to pay people in Washington, whom I’ll never see or meet, pretty much all of the money I make annually. Cane, too. And since they want more money every year, we have to work longer and harder... and then suddenly, we haven’t posted in 9 months.

Indeed, I wish we could regale you with stories of torrid group-sex, midnight strangers in my bed while Cane listened in the other room, orgy-binges, bi-sexual encounters, rampant DP’s, and cream-pies all around....but alas, there was nary a dildo to be had---- in any hole, Cane’s or mine. Truth is, we turned into boring, exhausted adults, coupled with boring vanilla sex. Well, boring to YOU loyal readers, but not to us :-)

We started this blog as a tool to improve our communication about our sexual desires and fantasies... and to hopefully realize a few, and at the very least, vet them all, if only for cathartic means.

...but reading and talking all the time is
bor-ing!! We do have an audience: over 200k site hits and #76 in Top 100 sex-bloggers of 2010!!! (not sure how official that poll or ranking is, but we’ll take it graciously!).... and that audience (aka, you guys) needs to be carnally sated...

So, this year our motivation is YOU... our loyal readers; we don’t want to let you down, so along with our usual featured installments, editorials, pictures, videos, and observations..... we want you to come along
as we pioneer territories still unknown to us... that is to say, our darkest fantasies we have still yet to realize. Yes, we are actually going to gather up the courage and DO THESE (well, at least some) while we’re still young, relatively attractive, and the siege with gravity is not yet lost.

What are these fantasies? Some we’ve talked about, some we haven’t. I’m sure you can guess a few, and I’m sure you have no idea what you’re in store for... but you’ll be along for the ride.

I can’t promise you all 52 weeks of 2011 are going to be jammed packed with ample content.... remember life is still kicking our asses daily...
but we can promise you we are back... and it should be one hell of a year!

So, as always,
stay tuned kiddies....

... and until then, here are some
fine fuckin’ pictures (literally!) of yours truly and the man of her life.

All rights, “The Secretive Slut” 2011.

...and for fuck’s sake, if you’re going to repost these, do us the courtesy of linking back to our blog. xxox!!


  1. Welcome back! Good to see you still out there, together, and adventuring outward. Look forward to reading your tales.


  2. Yes thanks for the update! Though, does that mean you are even legal to do this... born in 1993? I feel so dirty and I love it lol

  3. Fib... haha well great ruse. You got me! Thanks Rye for pointing that out!

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